New Additions for Dumb Baby
When we launched Boycott the Caf we never knew that little sub section of Dumb Baby would take the world by storm. Out of the three of four Degrassi fansites out there, BtC is probably in the top 3. It's brought us literally dozens of new visitors over the past three years. It's time we tried to attract more visitors, and we will do it by adding several new sections to Dumb Baby. The new additions will these.Jamie and Adam (from Mythbusters) Slash Fiction
jamieandadambuttlove.dumbbaby.net
Everytime I watch Mythbusters, I can't help but constantly picture Jamie and Adam as gay lovers. I know everyone else does too, am I right? What? Why is nobody else raising their hands? We all know they're flaming for each other, and I'm not talking about the many explosions they set on TV. Sure, some will say that Jamie appears to hate Adam. Those people are wrong. They are just different personalities. Jamie is the buttoned down serious type, and Adam is the fun loving guy who needs ADD medication. We all know that opposites attract. They love in San Francisco for crying out loud, everyone there is gay.
Our thousands and thousand of pages of Mythbusters slash will be highly erotic, I assure you. Take a gander at this sample, you silly goose:
"Wow!" Adam jumped with glee after the testing of the myth if a Boeing 747 could explode if filled with bouncy balls and propane and flammable Chinese made toys. It did. The myth was proven as the jumbo jet lay a flame in the Nevada desert, the smoke rising into the sky like a powerful erect penis.
Jamie felt the same sense of excitement, but he said nothing, remaining cool as always. He was used to this feeling of euphoria every time a myth was busted. He felt it in his heart as he watch the flaming jet and he felt it in his groin as he looked toward his meaty friend.
"Look my friend," Jamie said putting his arm around Adam, "All this work has made me pretty sweaty."
Adam felt the electricity from his friend's touch. He had felt it many times before--both in real life and his dreams, but had never acted on it until now. It felt right. It was time to give in.
"It is real hot out and the heat from the explosion isn't helping" Adam said while taking a long peak at the bulge in Jamie's pants. "Let's go somewhere to cool off, my apartment perhaps?"
Jamie saw his partner glance at his pants and let out a rare smile through his bushy mustache.
........
Jamie and Adam soon found themselves at Adam's apartment, overlooking the Pacific Ocean. Jamie lay on Adam's plush leather couch, completely naked, save for his signature beret. He said it was to cool off, but they both knew the truth. He kept his beret on because they both knew it turned Adam on.
Adam came into the living room with a two glasses of martinis. He was also naked. He gave one drink to his burly friend and sat down, just a few intimate inches from his colleague. While they each used one hand to hold their drinks, their free hands found their way to each other and their fingers played with each other.
"You know, my friend," Jamie said, "I see with are both erect. Erect and sweaty. Perchance it is time we showered--together."
"You read my mind, old chum," said Adam. "But the weather is so nice out and the ocean so warm, I think it would be better if we bathed in the Pacific."
And with that, the two colleagues found themselves naked in the Pacific Ocean, Jamie behind Adam. They swam far out in the sea, their feet didn't touch the ground, but they stayed afloat thanks to the buoyancy of their pale, flabby stomachs. The salt from the water clung to their thick forests of chest hairs and glistened in the sun. Jamie rubbed his mustache against Adam's back, sweeping against his back hair and pimples. Adam was in ecstasy. With his partner fully stimulated, Jamie got down to business. One hand reached around to Adams' penis, while Jamie's own penis penetrated Adam's asshole, the seawater providing perfect lubrication. The loud, rhythmic pounding altered everyone who was trying to enjoy a peaceful day at the beach that some sexy man fucking was underway.
Soon there would be a new explosion. But it wouldn't be in the labs of M5, it would be inside Adam's asshole.
Positively titillating!
In all of our stories, Jamie will be on top, because it makes sense. We'll also have stories involving Tori and Grant. No Kari. No one wants to read about a girl having sex, that's just gross.
Dumb Baby Politics
myopinionismoreimportantthanyouropinionloser.dumbbaby.net
Politics are big news right now, I think there is an election coming up somewhere or something. Dumb Baby will be on top of things with a blog centered on all the political news that is fit to blog about. No doubt lots and lots of people care about my political opinions. And with the power of the internet I will be able tot throw the awesome power of Dumb Baby's readers behind the candidates I support. Internet popularity immediately translates into political success, just look at the campaigns of Howard Dean or Ron Paul. How popular was George Bush among he web masses, not very let me tell you and he only managed to get elected president twice. Well I don't see him trying to run a third time, the left wing blogosphere took care of that. Alright blogosphere, party at Markos' house! Alright, no alcohol, just Kool-Aid. I know most of you can't handle beer, one sip and you'll probably wet your pants.
Karma Sutra Guide
positionstoboinkto.dumbbaby.net
Hours and hours or research tell me that sex is very popular on the internet. Dumb Baby will be at the forefront of this market with our series of original karma sutra positions you can only find here. There will be many detailed pictures. Unfortunately, neither Johnny or I know any girls, so all of the pictures will be the two of us together. The last time we did try to take pictures of girls, we ended up permanently barred from the campus of the University of Wisconsin (it was only the fourth time we were beat up by a sorority too). Luckily with the Jamie and Adam slash site, this will not be the gayest section of the website. Also, all of our positions will be awesome because we're going to base them on playing games of Twister. There will be lots and lots of positions too, because Johnny and I play Twister alone together a lot.
Potato Fates
potatofates.dumbbaby.net
This will be our attempt at starting an internet trend, ala the LOLCats. What we do is take pictures of potatoes and put in text about what the potato wants to be. Should silly? It's the internet. Here are some examples:
Social Network for Sexual Offenders
youdidwrongwithyourdong.dumbbaby.net
I typed in "sex offender registry" in Google recently and the first result was the registry for Michigan. I for one am proud that my state has the number one sex offender registry in the nation. There are a lot of things Michigan is number one in: unemployment, chasing away the queers, making my life miserable, and now we have something else to be proud of.
This got me thinking, with all the news of sexual predators going onto Myspace and Facebook and causing havoc and rape, we should probably just give the sexual predators their own social networking site to play on. We should let sex offenders edit their profiles on the sex offender registries. They can add photos, as well as blog, stylize their profiles with pimped out themes, and post message board topics on Mylie Cyrus and Zach Efron.