Comic Strip Haikus

Two angry midgets
Hate each other very much
Their marriage is poor

Beatle Bailey

This lazy solider
Has never been in combat
Or entertaining

Hagar the Horrible

A Viking raider
And true to its name, it is
A horrible strip

Garfield

Fat cat, lonely man
I want to draw comic strips
Get rich without talent

Family Circus

Wholesome family
Reading it sends me into rage
Fuck this Goddamn shit

Baby Blues

Once a month or so
It can be funny, I guess
Better than most strips.

The Far Side

So many great laughs
Gary Larson, touched by God
Yes, God is a cow

Outland

People said it’s good
But I was eight at the time
Was hard to follow

Get Fuzzy

Cat and dog and man
This one’s funny, so why’s
it in the paper?

Blondie

In the Holocaust
the Nazis forced the Jews to
read Blondie all day

Penny Arcade

Mocks video games
But I read the long blog post
To understand the joke

Calvin and Hobbes

Hobbes is a real cat
Not a stuffed toy. Disagree?
Then I hope you die.

Dilbert

Office drones love it.
But I don’t get it at all.
Please give me a job.