The Trial of Billy Jack
[ Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 ]
Billy Jack runs back to The Freedom School and the entire god damn army shows up to arrest him. They have the school surrounded while Billy Jack sits on the roof with a rifle.
So one week after being let out of prison Billy Jack finds himself in another standoff. His probation officer isn't going to like this.
Billy Jack says he will surrender if the national guard will leave the school alone. The general agrees to this stipulation, saying that it coincides with the governor's orders. Billy also reveals his gun isn't loaded. Ha ha, oh Billy Jack, they could have shot you for pointing a gun at soldiers, but they didn't because they would rather kill you later for some reason.
It turns out agreeing to the terms of surrender was a lie and more soldiers come to the school. That's good because the next time somebody has a standoff with the government they will know not to surrender and will instead shoot people.
The police stop the car so that Billy Jack can pee. He doesn't have to pee but the police are going to make him pee, and then shoot him. Of course this is Billy Jack we're talking about. Instead of dying with his penis in his hand he karate kicks all the police officers and makes his getaway. Then when they run into the night to find him he double backs and steals the cop car. Go Billy Jack! They wanted you to die while expelling urine but instead you live to fight another day!
Back at The Freedom School they are having a meeting about the fact that they are under lockdown by the army. The Freedom Schoolers are obviously pissed and even the pacifists want to violently rebel against the government. Their rebellion will fail of course, they're liberals and liberals don't have guns, but the fact that they want to murder is a step in the right direction.
Jean comes in and the students start booing her. What a bunch of dipshits. Here is a woman who has given them freedom and opportunities they would never get otherwise and just because she wants to say something when the god damn US army is outside the door they start booing. You know what, let the bastards get shot, I don't care. Also end this fucking movie. It is too fucking long.
Jean basically tells the students that they are a bunch of douche bags, but they shouldn't go get themselves shot. Well not really, but that's the message. Then to drive home the fact that love is the answer they have the one handed kid come out to play the guitar. He's not very good, but considering he has a claw it‘s be unfair to criticize. All the hippies are emotionally touched by the song and stop talking about being violent for several minutes.
So this soldier is saying goodbye to his family before shipping out. I'm not sure who any of these people are. Are we still in the same movie? Maybe the movie has been going on for so long that it turned into a different movie while I wasn't paying attention. The guy isn't a complete asshole, so maybe the message is that not everybody in the employ of the government is evil. That contradicts the message of the rest of the movie which is anybody with any authority is evil.
There's another scene where a police officer asks for verification that radical from across the state are entering the school. Another police officer verifies this by saying "verified." I guess saying that word verifies anything.
"Verify that Marvel vs. Capcom 2 is the best game ever."
"Verified."
"Now verify that Johnny Dangerous is a love machine that just won't quit."
"…"
"Please verify that."
"…"
"Hello? Anybody out there?"
I'm not sure if we are suppose to believe that provocation done towards the army from this point forward is the cause of outside radicals or if they are lying and using the radicals as an excuse to justify violence. The movie isn't clear on that point.
Some of the soldiers have a conversation. They seem to think that the school has snipers all over the place. Then one asks what this is all about, but nobody has an answer. I can tell you what this is all about, an overblown military budget. We have all these soldiers but nothing to do with them so we send then to fight hippies. We should have invaded Cambodia.
Billy Jack is dying from being shot by the police during his getaway. Instead of going to a hospital Billy Jack is being treated with the Indian method, singing. It doesn't seem to be working well. Blue Elk tells Billy Jack that it is because Billy didn't respect his vision and change his ways. I didn't see Blue Elk saying anything about Billy Jack being to violent when Billy saved him a couple of scenes ago. Billy Jack tells Blue Elk to "Eat a bucket of dicks."
Oh shit! As if things weren't bad enough already it looks like they have to chase away a Frankenstein.
Inside the school Carol asks if anybody has seen one handed kid. Somebody says he saw him back by the girl's dorm. Alright! One handed kid is leading a panty raid.
Some of the hippies lit a shed on fire. Its their shed, so I'm not sure what this accomplished. Watch out army men, you keep oppressing us and we'll destroy more of our things.
A police officer gets nailed in the face with a rock. Those around him think it was a sniper. I'm not sure if they think it was a sniper who throws rocks, or can't tell the difference between a bullet hole and a face that obviously got hit with a rock. Typically when you get shot there is a hole where the bullet entered the body. Also a gunshot. I don't think a sniper can give you a bloody nose by shooting you.
A member of the army fires a warning shot into the air, trying to disperse the students. The other soldiers hear this and assume the students are attacking them because radios have not been invented yet and there is no way for somebody to tell them it is not the students firing. The more the army and police fire their weapons the more they assume they are being shot back at, even though they can't see anybody shooting but themselves and all the students are running. Man, that government, they sure are evil right?
Everybody's favorite one handed guitar player is down by the stables when the shooting begins. Why didn't they tell us about the stables in the beginning of the movie? I guess its less impressive then having a TV station and the world's largest marching band competition but its still a feather in their cap.
A minor character whom I've barely talked about until this point gets shot and goes down. She's not wearing pants so you get to see her panties when this happens. He he he, hot. This is the same girl who cot felt up by the coppa earlier in the film. It is tragic that this character who has done things in several scenes is dead, but on the other hand, panties.
Jean take three slugs in the belly. How is pacifism working out for you Jean? Probably not very well since you just got shot.
One soldier is just sitting, not shooting school children. His officer berates him for not going on the attack. You have to get hippies before they get you. Wait to long to shoot and before you know it there's unwashed people smoking weed in a van and its too late. The soldier shoots into the air but this isn't good enough for the officer. He holds his pistol to the guys neck and tells him to shoot into the crowd. He shoots once and happens to hit the one handed kid. He then makes the best "oh shit" face ever.
One handed kid was walking around with a bunny this whole time. I'm not sure if this was suppose to be symbolic. The maiden had a bunny. Is the two of them holding bunnies suppose to be related somehow? I'm not sure. It is funny when he gets shot because the rabbit just sort of hops around his body showing no fear, despite the constant stream of gunfire.
"Come on everybody, Frankenstein went this way"
No, actually those are Indians. They came to help The Freedom School. A little late guys. The soldiers don't shoot the Indians because that would be considered poaching and they could get fined by the DNR.
Blue Elk tells the soldiers that he is arresting them for being on Indian land without permission, sighting the treaty of 1860 as his authority. That's cute, Indians still think treaties apply to them. The sheriff who isn't evil stands in solidarity with the Indians. That soldier who shot one handed kid throws his gun in their direction. At first I thought blood lust made it impossible for him to reload but then he walked over there and joined them. Other soldiers join suit. Like three other soldiers. Only four members of the army aren't soulless devils who enjoy killing for no reason.
Back in the present day, remember this was a flashback, the reporter tells Jean that the kids of the Freedom School want her back. How does the reporter know this? I also wonder how Jean knew what happened during sections of the movie where she wasn't present, such as Billy Jack escaping from the police. Jean doesn't know if she can reopen the school because it is too hard running a school in a town where the town celebrates you being shot.
Meanwhile Billy Jack's condition is not getting better, so the Indians moved him from inside a house to the edge of a cliff. He is in a coma because he has lost the will to live. Also he was shot and not treated.
Billy Jack has a vision where the Maiden tells him he isn't ready to go to the other side. Billy Jack points out that he is doing a shit job at progressing spiritually while alive, so a change in scenery might be good, but the Maiden vetoes this idea and tells him to follow his vision. She says if Billy Jack is able to stop being violent then he will be a role model to every violent person who want to stop being violent.
Carol is there as well. She is in an oxygen tent. That must suck, she's on some sort of spiritual plane but still can't get out of bed. The Maiden instructs Billy to take Carol with him. She doesn't know why Carol is even there, white people are suppose to be talking with Jesus.
The vision makes Billy Jack awaken from his coma. Jean is there when he awakens. You know how in movies when the hero wakes up from a coma and his woman is there, and there is an emotional scene where they reunite and she tells him she feared he would die. That doesn't happen. They just start having a conversation about The Freedom School as if Billy Jack was never even in a coma.
Billy Jack tries to convinces Jean to reopen the school by making an eagle land on a tree branch. It's a compelling argument, I know but Jean doesn't even respond. How can you reach this lady?
An undefined amount of time later Jean, Billy, and the minor characters from The Freedom School are outside a church. I guess all those people they showed get shot survived. Well except for the one handed boy, but he was a jerk anyways. They tell Jean how not only are they going to keep doing exposes but they are also starting Freedom Schools all across the world. Tomorrow there is going to be a world wide march in support of The Freedom School and they are dedicating it to her. Jean remains emotionally withdrawn.
They all enter the church, which is filled with hippies, so I‘m sure the BO is overwhelming. One has a guitar and is singing a song that begins with the line "Golden lady made of love." It's kind of like a Bob Dylan song if Bob Dylan was a shitty song writer. Like everything in this movie the song goes on for way too long.
When the song finally ends some black guy with a mexi-stash starts singing "All we are saying is give peace a chance," then the whole church joins in. No he is not singing the song Give Peace a Chance just that one line from the song. I think that's as much as they were allowed to sing without having to pay royalties. Plus nobody knows any of the other lyrics anyways.
Jean is now convinced that she must continue her work. All the loose ends have been tied up except for Billy Jack being arrested for murder and stealing a police car, the Indians trying to arrest the U.S. army, towns people hating The Freedom School, the fate of the karate master who was shot, Billy Jack being put on a list to be murdered, that old Indian who got arrested, and about 20 other storylines that were introduced and then forgotten about.
The movie ends with a disclaimer saying that while some may think this movie is too violent the real life massacres were even worse. Too violent? Its less violent then the prequel. This movie needed more violence. Also a better story, editing, dialogue, music, length, and everything else in a movie. This movie needs more not sucking is what it needs I tell you what.
The thing is The Trial of Billy Jack has barely any redeeming factors. Its obvious a lot of effort and money went into the film, which almost makes the complete failure worse. If the movie sucked because nobody cared or they has a shoestring budget then that's kind of acceptable. In this situation the movie sucked purely because of the large amount of incompetence of the story. It is bloated. There are too many subplots, to many characters, and too many causes that Tom Laughlin wanted to address. Watching the film gets tiring because you have to pay attention to every single character since you have no way of knowing if the guy who has said one thing so far might end up with his own subplot two hours later.
I cannot unrecomend any movie more then The Trial of Billy Jack. You can't even enjoy the movie in an ironic MST3K way because it just never ends. You start out making jokes but by the end you either want to die, or you want Tom Laughlin to die. I in no way enjoyed writing this article and if I gave the impression that this movie is in anyway less then the worse movie ever then I have failed.
Final Rating
Negative gazillion bajillion out of five.
